Save the Trees

“Save the trees, sign this petition” was a reply Dave got while walking to work today. It is around 8 degrees this morning and Dave can barely feel his face.

There they are, everywhere, environmentalists with wooden sticks to hold up their picket signs, all printed on paper, and the petition, paper. They have oversized evil looking heads of the CEO of large logging firms, all made of paper maché, and they got donuts inside brown paper bags. Environmental protests do seem to take a toll on the environment.

It is believed that there are those who are serious about their cause and do act on it, and in fact adhere to the value until it is ridiculous. And there are those who join in just for the sake of comforting their minds that AT LEAST they’re doing something, however mediocre.

It is this mediocrity that is found to be amusing, and most widespread, among all sins and diseases. People want to be wealthy but despise the effort needed to achieve it. This is the very secret on how many gym equipments being sold on shopping TV channels can give a 30 day money back guarantee, no one will use the product 3 days after purchasing it.

It is not too difficult to fathom the idea of the need to save the environment. The world climate is getting quite screwy that many animals we are now banned to hunt down are dying because there is no mall in their area catered to their needs. There is no barbershop for bears, or a Brazilian wax job. There are no fast food chains for lions to go to and get their deer patty between two buns of bread. These deer might have been raised in large slaughterhouses the way KFC raises their chicken. These poor animals do not seem to have the external evolution we have developed ever since we discovered that we do not have to eat food raw, and can now cook it. Thanks to our external evolution, we do not need to be fit to hunt down a tiger, we merely put a large power plant near its habitat and watch the water it drinks glow at night.

It does look rather bleak to many when they realize they’re merely living a life of excuses, and that the better option has always been “I’d rather not”. Religions gives people an excuse to stop worrying about dying, but are still not really convinced on the idea of heaven and hell.

And now Dave is situated to sign the petition, he borrows the wooden pencil and marks his name on the available spot on paper. Strange enough, he feels good today, he feels like he has done something big for the environment.

This would be short-lived, though, if Dave’s IQ and observational skills were to remind him that he is a very bad man when it comes to the environment. He still drives a SUV to work when he could carpool, and would probably close one eye on whatever he purchases even if it comes from sweat shops, just as long as there are no guilt trip commercials or ads on the paper.

This time though, Dave does not realize that it is colder than usual, as to the main reason why he cannot feel his face. Yes, the environmental temperatures are getting screwy, and not too amusing either. He is actually aware that there is something wrong with the environment, and will try to choose something more environmental if given the choice in a grocery, at the same price. He is still half hearted about it.

This is where, sadly, communism works. The government would force everyone to be environmental, even if it is half heartedly done, they have no choice.

This is also where the best ad agencies can work. Leave it to guilt trips and little feel good to do good ads to perk someone up to do something for the next three days. Environmental motivation would best be done by shopping channels than environmentalists.

There is still hope though, for the space program to succeed, and send the richest men with their hottest mistresses to the next most virgin planet to colonize and exploit, this will, of course, require that astronauts and their new hot mistresses will go along as well.

The richest men do deserve to go first anyway, considering that they are known to put in their heart and passion in whatever they do, they might actually do a good job in the new planet. Everyone might as well have to contend to figuring out tomorrow’s weather and smog levels. Either we fix things or we get fixed.

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